| frustration gone |
[Nov. 6th, 2004|02:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  ecstatic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | cake, no phone | ] |
well all halloween was great. my 18th birthday was ok but it could have been better.even though i dont have many friends i dont feel alone. my senoir year is the best year i have ever had... i am thinking more positive even though it is tuff. amber and i hang out today and she took time out of her day to help me pick out furniture for my apartment. i think that was really cool of her...
love you all
laurel |
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| i am back from the dead |
[Nov. 5th, 2004|12:56 pm] |
hi all
whats up with you guys. life for me is great. i got my new apartment and i great dog oo and i am in love................................. life is great....... have a great school year.. |
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| to be loved or love |
[Sep. 13th, 2004|11:42 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | busy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | cake, no phone | ] |
love is such a deep implied subject.. i like too people. one says that she likes me... |
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| dating |
[Sep. 12th, 2004|10:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crappy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | nothing because my head hurts | ] |
well i am so called dating amber. i like that but she always go some where else for lunch. she never wants to hang out around me it seems. she never calls. i guess i never call her either. i am really going to miss her when she goes. i care about her very much. i kinda want to date more that one person if she is going not to pay much attention to me. i will find it some where else. plus she needs to understand that i just got out of a heart sucking relationship! i miss him and i will always miss him. she just needs to me pacient with me. i got my infusion on friday and i bet she didnt remeber. well it went bad guys. they had to pump my stomch out because i had a reaction a bad one. they made the medicence go to fast. i felt really sick all weekend it would have been at least nice to get a call from her. maybe i am expecting to much right now. i am in love with love i quess. or maybe a lone is a good thing. no i like her but i need to look around to make sure she is the right one to feed my soul with happiness and pleasure. i dont want a nother broken heart.
love
laurel
just being stupid i dont feel well so sorry if i seem weird on monday..... |
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| i miss school |
[Jul. 8th, 2004|11:28 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  distressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | nothing | ] |
i really miss school. i miss the science and the fact that i was using my time wisely till the end of the term when i found denis. my life got fucked up a lot. he was the first taste of love real since donald. i messed up my whole life for him and for what. npw he is gone and i am alone again. but i found someone that has brought ny spirits back up. i dont drink that much any more or smoke. his eyes are so wonderful but he is not mine i will wait for him but i hope he want hate me if i have sex with some other person. i dont want judgment one me because sooner or later he is going to have sex with her. i know i will be so jelous of her because she has every thing he wants for an example: a child time will tell us what we have and i want it to be for a long time. i can see myself get old with this person. he is just what i have want in a man. he has a nice body a very nice body but he wants to go to the gym. danm if he goes he will be the perfect man no wait he will be my angel. but just remeber laurel he is not yours he is no ones. a lover without a partner i shall be. i will wait my love and time will tell and i hope for the best...... |
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| funny but very true |
[Jun. 29th, 2004|01:45 pm] |
| How to make a laurel |
Ingredients:
1 part anger
3 parts arrogance
3 parts joy |
Method:
Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Top it off with a sprinkle of curiosity and enjoy! |
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| two loves |
[Jun. 22nd, 2004|10:29 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  aggravated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | linkin park song 11 | ] |
i believe that every one has to loves. i have found both of mine. chris is the fucking greatest sweatest person i have met but so is denis. plus the sex is great with them.hehe. i feel weird say that. i tryed scaring off chris but it didnt work so i guess he just doen't want to be in my pants. denis i know he loves me but why cant he just come home to me. i can be his fucking home. the last thing i want to do is hurt chris.i hate it that a person i like/love has my fucking brothers name. my boyfriend beat this guys ass that took advantage of me. it was so great to see that shit happen i just wish it was me doing it instead.i am getting a kitten. i dont feel like talk to anyone about my problems right now. fuck that........soul yeah right me have one. blah. |
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| fuck |
[Jun. 8th, 2004|02:14 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  denis come home | ] |
so much drama there is in this world of mine. yesterday i found out that three people were saying that i went to a hotel and had sex with oleg. fuck that no way. i feel like shit. i dont trust anyone. it is even to trust my true friends. i loved everyone and no it just makes it harder to love them even though they dislike me. i miss sleeping in the tent were i could hear the frogs and the water rush by. the bueatiful noises of the camp site.no one was there but him and i. our bodys and souls are ment for each other. my bestfriend is leaving me and i am going to be so fucking lonely when he is finally gone. i wish he could just stay but things are going down the wrong path right. i miss denis so much. my heart is breaking in every way. i havent seen him for a week and three fucking days. i was hitting my punching bag and i was hitting so hard that i fractured my wrist. i was hittting so hard so my anger wouldnt go to the ones i care for. i yelled at ryan. i feel bad becuase i wrote that i cared about her then i yell at her. that is so fucked up. i guesss i am a fuck up.. her life has a enough struggles and doesnt need so bitch to yell at her she was just trying to the right thing. i am trying to get a job so i can get the hell out of my house. i miss him so much. please bring him back to mee. i am at my second school and i am working on math i hope i pass the stupid test.... |
|
|
| blah |
[Jun. 3rd, 2004|11:34 pm] |
y/quizzes/%3F%3F%20Which%20Of%20The%20Greek%20Gods%20Are%20You%20%3F%3F/"> ?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??</a>
brought to you by Quizilla |
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| normal me normal |
[Jun. 3rd, 2004|11:21 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | chipper | ] |
| [ | music |
| | something on kwod | ] |
hey all
guess what. i have been tripping over this guy calling me and me getting a hold of me and well i checked caller id and he called me it made me feel so fucking special. hehehe. i like him so much. i meet my girlfriends boyfriends friend james and he is nice and kinda handsome. hehe. i feel happy right now but i really miss denis. i still feel like a screw up but yeah i guess i am i just have to face it right. but hey dont let the tin man get you down...i almost decieded to cut myself today and really deep to but i didnt do it because i didnt need to. i feel kinda great actually but i just want to have denis in my fucking life and i want to move out soon. |
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| fire thats right |
[Jun. 2nd, 2004|11:27 pm] |
src="http://images.quizilla.com/C/carmabell/1084141716_cturesfire.jpg" border="0" alt="sffh4">
You're Element is Fire. You have a strong,
independant, fiery personality and you
obviously don't ley other's puch you around.
You like being in charge and don't care what
other people think. In fact, you like to stand
out and be yourself. You're probably shy when
people first meet you but your a ball of energy
that could explode at any given moment. You
like to laugh and whether you admit it or not,
you like to fight. You're peronality that is
wild and untamable. You're beauty is physically
fit and a little sexy and you have a very
pretty face.
What's Your Element(girls)? (PICTURES)
brought to you by Quizilla |
|
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| poem |
[Jun. 2nd, 2004|11:22 pm] |
through the hills of my desires
birds seem to mock me
flowers play with my sences
the sweet smiles of lost lovers
they taunt my with their beautiful was
the way her soulful eyes look up at me
we once walked hand in hand but like every thing that was meant some value gone
the birds still mock me with their little eyes
me heart falls to the ground
i go to smell the flowers that taunt me so but they bite back like everyone else does
my desires will never find a resting place i wish they would so i could finally but my downcast mind would finally have a rest
maybe they will find their path and i will find my salvation |
|
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| fuck up in thehead |
[Jun. 2nd, 2004|11:14 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  lonely | ] |
well i saw oleg today.it was good to see him because him and i have a lot in common and when it comes to our group of friends there is no bull shit bettween us. i will miss him this summer. me and my friends brittany and sunny are getting a apartment this summer. i am looking forward to that. i have so much homework... spanish sucks. spanish chicks on the other hand suck just perfectly. hehehehe. i am a horny litle person. i miss denis a lot. he said the l=love word today on the phone that scared me. he is so goood for me in so many ways only if he would come back to davis. i would do anything to be with him i guess. i just wonder if he would do the same. now one likes me and i want to go to him. he cares about me. i think and thats what he says. he says he wants to take me away and go to SF this summer.. we will see. |
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| if i had a choice run away or suicide? |
[Jun. 1st, 2004|11:42 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | crappy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | toxic | ] |
if i had a choice i would be with denis m. i cant believe i knew denis back in patwin and my ex friend step brother. he is the best thing i have ever had. he is in SF right now. i just want to run away with him again. i would drop every one for him and i know he wouldnt do the same for me. i hate that i get all these emotions locked in side. i wish david didnt tell my parents were i was so i could be with him.to sleep in the same tent to be in his arms well at least close to him. i feel bad because he did stuff and he has a girlfriend and he says he is just using her but how do i know that he isnt just using me. but hay we all know laurel is a bitch. i even hate myself. i really want to pick up a fucking knife and cut. to cut so deep that the blood would run down my fucking cripled arms. i hate myself i cant do anything right.
i lose every one that is important to me.my medicnes are doing great. i started a boxing class and i got a job. but i just cant stop being depressed and it just gets worse. i have found my soul mate and i cant be with him and it is killing me in side but i will get over it. thats all i can do for right now. i just want to fucking rip a fucking chunk out of my arm with glass... i am angry and i a bad person. i want to cut please let me cut jessica i need it really bad right know. if i do it please dont tell anyone at school like the yard duties or something like that.
well i am out |
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| hi again |
[Jun. 1st, 2004|11:37 pm] |
-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.
What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla |
|
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| julian |
[May. 14th, 2004|11:26 am] |
|
i really like julian but i dont know why he wont make a move. boys are stupid throw rocks at them. hehehe.he says he likes me too well at least thats what he says.. |
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